Sunday, November 15, 2009

Callie's Kingdom Prince Application

Callie's Royal Kingdom Alert:
Due to laws he deems unreasonable, strict codes of conduct and wardrobe restrictions, Henry is no longer interested in enjoying the status associated with being Callie's prince. He has defected to a new, more lenient kingdom. Ergo, Callie is beginning her active search for her new, more improved prince. Applicants are encouraged to apply in person at 8034 N. Seneca Rd.
Please print and complete the following application form.
APPLICANTS MUST BE AGE 5 ON OR BEFORE THE DATE OF INTERVIEW. ALL APPLICATIONS WILL BE KEPT ON FILE FOR ONE (1) YEAR FROM THE DATE OF RECEPTION. ALL APPLICATIONS ARE KEPT STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL BUT MAY BE LAUGHED AT DURING ROYAL COURT PARTIES DUE TO THEIR LACK OF SUBSTANCE, THE APPLICANT'S NERVE AT EVEN BOTHERING TO APPLY FOR SUCH AN ESTEEMED POSITION, SPELLING ERRORS AND/OR POOR HANDWRITING, INTEREST IN BORING TOYS, BOOKS OR CARTOONS.

THE SCHEDULING OF AN INTERVIEW IN NO WAY ENTERS THE APPLICANT AND CALLIE'S KINGDOM IN ANY BUSINESS AND/OR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP. STRICT CONFIDENTIALITY RULES APPLY. PLEASE DRESS APPROPRIATELY DURING INTERVIEWS AND DO NOT BRING STAR WARS TOYS OR MARKERS.

PRINCE APPLICATION
Name:
Birthdate:
Age as of today:
Number of lost teeth:
Phone number:
Home Address:
Are you of Royal lineage? If so, please explain.
Do you like to play Littlest Pet Shop? If you and Callie were to marry in a Royal Ceremony, would you and/or your family be willing to give Littlest Pet Shop toys as a wedding gift?
Do you engage in games involving any of the following (please check all that apply):
Camping Where there are Scary Bears
Royal Wedding Day
Aliens Invade Our House
Cupcakes and Cookies Baking Class
Ballerina Princess
Puppy Doctor Office With Broken Bones
Baby Bathtime and Bedtime with Songs
In the Hospital with a Sick Brain
Locking Henry in Prison Because He NEVER Listens
Abe Takes a Long Nap and Then He's Good all Evening
Going to Bayshore to Shop
Has your mother or father ever forgotten to bring Morning Snack on your assigned day?
Do you ever wet your pants during Literacy Stations?
Have you ever been on Red Light during school?
How many late library books have you had this year?
Can you tie your own shoes?
Do you drink chocolate milk or white milk during Lunch?
How many sisters and/or brothers do you have? Are they good or naughty?
Do you like to swim? Have you made it to Level III at the Fox Point Pool?
Can you jump off the diving board without your mommy's help?
Have you ever been accused of a crime? If yes, were you convicted? If yes, please throw away this application right now because you're disqualified.
Are you a good sharer?
Do you like spaghetti? And if so, with or without meatballs?
In a brief essay, please tell us how you feel about Scooby Doo.
Does your mom bake cookies for playdates? Real ones or ones that you just put on the baking sheet?
Do you enjoy sprinkles on your cookies?
When you play Playmobil do you put all the pieces back properly in their little bins?
Do you wear clean socks to school every day?
Do you like to talk about hair barrettes, headbands and pigtails?
Do you wear Spiderman shoes during gymclass?
Would you allow Callie to draw on your arms and legs with markers?
How is your behaviour on the school bus? Please provide your AM and PM bus drivers' names.
Would you sing Happy Birthday to Callie every day of the year while she dances ballet? And then clap heartily and yell "encore, encore!!"
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN BECOMING CALLIE'S PRINCE. IF YOU MEET HER EXACTING REQUIREMENT AND DO NOT WHINE, COMPLAIN, PICK YOUR NOSE OR LOOK ICKY AND/OR MEAN, RUDE OR WEIRD DURING THE INTERVIEW IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU'LL BE CALLED BACK FOR A SECOND INTERVIEW.
CALLIE RESERVES ALL RIGHTS AND CAN CHOOSE/DISCRIMINATE BASED ON ANY CRITERIA SHE DEEMS UNDESIRABLE.
COPYRIGHT 2009 KINGDOM OF CALLIE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

1 comment:

  1. Facebook says to take a peek at your blog. So I'm peeking. But you haven't updated since November! Time for some diet coke to get those creative juices flowing?

    ReplyDelete